I thought I needed encouragement. And I did, but I was looking for the wrong things. I have been feeling discouraged lately. God has been good but I have been feeling overwhelmed. The new challenges of teaching 2 new classes in Portuguese were daunting for the first couple of weeks, and now have settled to a level of difficult. I am not only teaching 1 1/2 hours each in two different subjects, completely in Portuguese, but I am also creating my own course as I go. Two things I have not really done before. I wrote in my last blog post of my tire incident, it is fixed now but it took almost an entire week, and thus left me without transportation for that amount of time. I have enjoyed having wireless internet in my apartment when I was here last year. But, with my time in the states as well as another missionary's time there we cancelled our plan and have have been trying, to no avail, for the last month to get internet. Without internet in my room I am not at liberty to call friends and family as often as I would like, which has led me to feel disconnected and somewhat lonely. To add to it I recently received many insect bites and what I can only assume as stings which have increased to my discomfort. Money has been tight and I have been questioning if I should be here if I am still trying to raise full support. So I began asking "Why me?" and telling God I needed encouragement not more bad things. So have you enjoyed my whining? I find myself whining entirely too much looking at myself and seeing only the problems. I told you that I asked God for encouragement and I think I am finally beginning to look at my circumstances differently and starting to see the many many blessings and encouragements that are waiting for me if I choose to accept them.
So enough with the bad let's here some of the good ..... God has been good. I have been busy, but that keeps me from being homesick. My new challenge with the teaching is increasing my ability with the language while expanding my mental capacities. =) (I am praying that the students are somehow learning something as well!) I have my car now and in hind sight I did not really need my car the week I was without it. A seminary student brought me to church on Wednesday night with him, I am able to eat in the Seminary's cafeteria so I didn't have to worry about running out of food. I have found time to talk to my family through the internet and I have my fiancé, Neto, here who is a wonderful person to talk to when I am feeling lonely. I received a gift of support from a family at church which is a huge encouragement. My stings, and bites are healing, (our bodies are amazing at that ability to heal itself). Last night it rained and again this morning giving a nice relief from the relentless sun and heat as well as making beautiful music as it hit the roof and trees around my apartment. I continue to rest in the knowledge that I am exactly where God wants me to be, and that the challenges and seeming trials are only there to make me rely more fully on God and to transform me into the likeness of Christ, and for that I can be truly thankful.
There are so many more things that I can now look around and see as blessing. That doesn't mean that all of the hard things are gone but I am choosing to look at the good things first and that has helped a lot with my attitude toward the hard things.
Do you find yourself doing this as well? If you would please attempt this with me this week and look for the blessings and encouragements that God so freely gives us and see if it doesn't change your attitude as well.
Ecclesiates 3:1 -8 For there is a time for everything under heaven! This is the time for Encouragement. =)
Thanks for listening! God bless you!
